Stop Sabotaging Yourself: The Biggest Weight Loss Mistakes (and How to Fix Them)

Let’s get real.

If you’ve ever said:

• “I’ll start Monday.”

• “I did so good… until I didn’t.”

• “Why can’t I stick to anything?”

…you’re not lazy. You’re stuck in the same weight-loss traps most people fall into. And honestly? Expecting different results while doing the same things is just cruel to yourself.

Here’s where people mess up, and how you can actually win.

1️⃣ Relying on Motivation Instead of Structure

Motivation is like Wi-Fi.  It’s great when it works but useless when it’s gone.

You can feel fired up, buy the cute workout leggings, and eat clean… until life happens. Kids, work, stress, Netflix, whatever it is and then poof! Motivation disappears.

Your plan should work when you don’t feel like it. Structure beats motivation every time. Always.

When I was doing the 75 - Hard Challenge, I remember there were days when I had cramps, headache and feeling depleted and the idea of even lifting a 5 pound weight seemed like a daunting task.  I was torn because I felt like if I didn’t lift weights that day then I failed the entire challenge.  But having been doing this challenge for 19 days straight at this point, I realized I just needed to make a tweak that still counted and instead of lifting weights or doing cardio, I went for a walk for both of my workouts.  I didn’t want to even do that, but it felt almost basic enough that it was harder to quit.  I was motivated by the fact I had made it this far and wanted to see where I could go with this.  It wasn’t so much about the scale or the results during that time.  It was purely about forcing this routine until it didn’t feel like a chore and was becoming a new habit.

2️⃣ Going Extreme Instead of Consistent

Cutting out carbs, doing two-hour workouts, starving yourself… sound familiar?

Fast results feel amazing for a hot minute until then burnout hits.

Burnout brings quitting.

Quitting brings Monday restarts.

Consistency > Extreme. Always.

I think the biggest downfall for me personally for decades was I was so pumped by the newest fad of the times - Cabbage Stew diet, 48 hour Hollywood liquid diet, Paleo diet, Juice fasting, etc.  I would be so gung ho with it, but every single time it was over, I was burnt out. It was another temporary fix and the results didn’t come like I had hoped.  Doing these extremes, although in our head we feel like its a good “jump start,” actually does more harm to our bodies in the long run.  

3️⃣ All-or-Nothing Thinking

“I messed up, so today’s ruined.”

“I skipped a workout, so what’s the point?”

“This week is blown, might as well quit.”

One meal doesn’t erase progress. One missed workout doesn’t ruin you. But the all-or-nothing mindset does.

One of the hardest mindset shifts I have had to make is this one.  This all or nothing mentality.  I now know that we are human and we are going to have special events, occasions, holidays or a random smurfin’ Tuesday in which I indulge in more than I had planned on.  Instead of beating myself down and going the spiral route to hell, I remind myself that it was one meal.  I enjoyed the hell out of that meal and one meal does not undo everything that has been happening positively before that.  I accept the one meal as it was, I give myself momentary grace and then I am back on track.  It’s when we spiral that we often fall backwards harder because we are now emotionally eating in response to how we spoke to ourselves.  Own the decision in the moment, don’t let it define you and make the next one better.

4️⃣ Not Tracking or Measuring

You can’t fix what you don’t measure.

Most people underestimate calories, forget liquid calories, overestimate workouts… then wonder why nothing works.

Even minimal tracking builds awareness, and awareness builds results.

This tip is a very important one to consider and at the same time, the one I struggle with often myself because after 30 years of “diet culture” and tracking every morsel, for some, it may be more harmful than helpful.  For the vast majority, it’s absolutely necessary.  I think with this one you need to do what is best for you.  I always suggest that when you find yourself in a rut and stalled, this is a great thing to go back to for a while just to gain perspective on exactly where you are.  Once you are at a point where the habits are built, you can gauge how this phase looks for you.  But more often than not, many stalls can be tweaked simply with this task alone for a bit.  We don’t realize how much we are actually consuming until we write it out and then make adjustments as we need to get to our desired goals.

5️⃣ Trying to Do It Alone

This is huge. Accountability changes everything.

When no one knows your goals, it’s easy to skip, cheat, or disappear. Support doesn’t make you weak, it makes you consistent.

When I was actively doing the M.O.B.A. challenges on Tik Tok every night, there were so many days over those months that I didn’t want to do it.  I was tired, I was cranky, I was depleted but there was something about having a group of people on those panels with you, and almost like they were counting on you as much as you were counting on them, that there were some times I told myself I was literally only doing this to help them but in reality, it was that energy, camaraderie and support that I didn’t even realize I needed for myself.  I am a believer that we have to be able to pick ourselves up and find our own motivation and accountability but if it was easy, we wouldn’t need spaces like this.  Doing things with like minded people creates an energy in the air that can’t be matched. 

6️⃣ Obsessing Over the Scale

The scale is dramatic. Water, sodium, hormones, stress, sleep - all make it bounce.

Stop treating it like the ultimate judge. Look at: energy, habits, strength, confidence, and yes… how your clothes fit.

Since my surgery in 2014, I have gained and lost along the way.  The most fascinating thing I have noticed over the last decade is my body shape is different along the way.  Surgery took me to 173lbs and then years later I gained over 50 back.  As I was working towards getting back to 173, I noticed that when I got to 185, my clothes fit better than they did at 173.  My shape was better than it was.  Even now years later, I am currently 193 and my shape is still different than it was at 185.  The number on the scale is just a number.  It does not take into account skin, muscle, bloating, inflammation, etc.  Success should be based on how you feel and the reflection staring back at you.

7️⃣ Ignoring Habits and Mindset

Weight loss isn’t just food and exercise.

It’s stress eating, weekend binges, boredom snacking, emotional triggers. Fixing habits and mindset is where the magic happens. Without that, the weight comes back.

I don’t look at myself as trying to “lose weight” anymore.  That mindset shift for me has been a game changer.  Every day, I make decisions and choices based on how I want tomorrow to go.  What I eat today affects how my body reacts tomorrow.  How much water I consume today determines how much inflammation flushes out tomorrow.  How much movement I do today determines how much flexibility and energy I have tomorrow.  

The Hard Truth

You don’t need another plan or fad diet.

You need:

• Structure

• Accountability

• Sustainable habits

• Consistency

The people who succeed aren’t more motivated, they’re more consistent. And consistency is easier with support.

Everyone is different but one thing that works for me is making lists.  I make a check list of my day and there is something about checking it off the list that does something to my brain and puts me in a better mood.  Some days it’s big items and some days its overly simplified, 20 ounces of water in increments, 10 minutes of movement in increments.  There is something about having something tangible in front of me that helps to keep me accountable throughout the day and I find the that more that I check off, the more I become motivated to check more off and then the productivity of the day heavily increases.

Final Thoughts

Stop waiting. Stop sabotaging. Stop thinking you need motivation to start.

Small habits. Clear expectations. Accountability. Patience.

That’s how real people get real results.

And yes, YOU can do this, even if you’ve “tried everything.”

In the words of Wayne Gretzki, “You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.”

In the words of Sheri?  “Namaste Bishes.”